Fashion of his love!
Level Up (2011)
I’m one of those people who just love making gaming references in real life. Making remarks about leveling up, graphics… I’m there. When I accidentally found out about “Level Up”, a new series about to come out, that’s set on doing just that - merging real life and gaming - I was like “HELL YEAH!”, but after I’ve just seen the pilot episode I’m all like “HELL NO!”
Maybe you wonder why?
Acting is horrible. I’m pretty sure that this thing is targeted at younger kids, so young in fact, that they don’t even have “poor acting” in their everyday vocabularies. So there’s an excuse to hire poor actors. It’s for kids. I guess the same goes for the script.
<Character 1> (some stupid remark)
<Character 2> (gaming\pop culture reference)
<Character 3> (insult 1 and 2 for LULZ)
Characters are totally stereotypical. We have 3 guys, out of which one is a popular jock and hides the fact that he’s gaming because it would RUIN HIM. Games ruin lives! Remember that. It’s 2011. and you can’t be popular and\or have friends if you play games. There’s a positive message about gaming for all of you out there. Later on, somebody probably realized that they’re missing a female character so they add in a girl just to fill all of the requirements. Her weapon sucks monkey balls, by the way. All of them are, in fact, looking like cheap toys. Check out the visual aids to the right and see for yourself.
The game they’re playing is obviously an MMO, with “tens of thousands of players playing”. WHOA! Tens of thousands! It must be the biggest game out there! WOW currently has 10.3 MILLION people playing. I wouldn’t normally complain about the subscription count of a fictional video game, BUT THEY SHOW AN ENORMOUS SKYNET-LOOKING SERVER FARM IN THE FIRST EPISODE. And we’re meant to believe it’s only one of many. WHO ARE THEY FOR? All those countless tens of thousands of players? Come on…. We meet the programmer who made the game in the first episode as well. No surprise there - they portray him as a Peter Pan figure who refuses to grow up and acts like a spoiled brat with no sense of reality. SO MUCH LUV FOR GAMERZ! Thank you Level Up!
The monsters are lame. And inconsistent. Some of them are CG. Some of them are people playing dress up. You know what, Level Up? Either have all of the monsters CG or have NONE of them. This looks really stupid. Oh yeah, and the CG is awful, as expected.
But, all that aside, my biggest complaint is about the show itself. It’s about gaming. That’s cool. But it’s trying to be edgy about all the wrong things. Gaming is huge today. It’s not for “nerds” and “no life geeks”. Almost everybody I know plays games, at least once in a while. And they’re perfectly normal people. Why succumb to the stone age premise and make gamers look like total idiots? If this show is being made for gamers, shouldn’t it send a positive message about them? Big bang theory fucks this up occasionally, but this one is out of the box obnoxiously wrong about everything.
They are indeed making a show for gamers. Purely to take their money and give some neigh-sayers (hello everypony!) and parents more verbal ammo to shoot at gamers. Because games make you violent and prone to breaking law and the only use you’ll ever have from playing games is if, by any chance, games merge with real life and you have to kill a troll or two.
This series is totally unimaginative, lacks interesting characters and story, misses the point of gaming and sends an almost completely negative vibe about video games. Why? TO TAKE YOUR GOLDS! ALL YOUR GOLDS ARE… you get it….
ONE FINAL NOTE: THE DISCO BALL JOKE WAS HORRENDOUS. Somebody actually got paid to write that?
Don’t watch this shit.
There aren’t enough reaction faces on the Internet to describe my reaction to this bullshit.
This has to be one of the dumbest attempts to sound “geeky” and/or “leet” I have ever seen. Maybe you have fun writing your little Kotaku articles using an Xbox controller, and I’m sure it allows you to capture all of your “bright moments” (in massive sarcasm quotes) just fine, but if you actually tried doing something serious with your computer you would ditch that GAMEpad (as in, “to be used for gaming”) and use a keyboard like a normal person.
Female gamers aren’t that rare anymore, can we finally move on as a species and stop treating them as something special? Because they aren’t. Not in any higher percentage than male gamers are. But yeah, to be a male in the gaming world you actually have to achieve something since growing breasts isn’t an option. Most of the time.
If I give this any more thought it will probably end up being even more of a tl;dr mess, so I’ll stop.
</rant>
you should probably use grammar check too because you used the wrong you’re/your
Well, that was kinda the point… :|
(Source: soulsample)
“No remakes, please. It’s a waste of good celluloid” - Doug Bradley (Pinhead)
(via underhuntressmoon)
Kirsty Cotton: It’s just a puzzle box!
Pinhead: Oh, no. It is a means to reblog us.
It will tear your soul apart
The new Hellraiser movie was released a week or so ago. Although I’m a huge Hellraiser fan, I must admit I wasn’t even aware it was in the making so it took me by surprise.
At first I thought this was the remake, but no. Even though some parts of the story are an obvious rip off (you could say homage, but I’ll go with rip off) of the first Hellraiser movie, this is the ninth installment and a sequel.
Let me start by naming all the good things in this movie - it’s only 75 minutes long (short?). And that’s about it.
There’s a lot more going on on the negative side, though. Firstly, actors. One can’t shake off the feeling that any scene could probably convincingly derail into porn without losing anything in the credibility department. It looks and sounds fake, and the script doesn’t help. Admittedly, Hellraiser scripts were never Shakesfear quality material, but at least there were some memorable quotes and one liners that stood the test of time. Revelations has none of those.
The biggest disappointment in this movie is - THERE IS NO DOUG BRADLEY. He rejected the role of Pinhead. We got Stephan Smith Collins instead. One thing this guy sure did succeed in doing is proving that it takes more than makeup to convincingly play Pinhead. After eight movies with Doug Bradley, it’s hard to separate the character from the actor and this movie really suffers for it. I’m aware that it’s hard to be creative with the role because fans expect Pinhead, not Pinhead 2.0 and the character is pretty much set in stone by now. There is nothing else Stephan could do to make this work but try his best to imitate Doug. But he didn’t even try. Or perhaps he did, but he’s just that bad of an actor? There’s nothing intimidating in his bland performance and I couldn’t help but cringe\laugh each time he opened his mouth.
If this was the remake I would probably be much more okay with the “reinvention” of Pinhead (not a bad reinvention like this, though), but since this movie is in the same timeline with the other eight he just looks out of place and character.
“Hello,my friends. I want to put on record that the flick out there using the word Hellraiser IS NO FUCKIN’ CHILD OF MINE!” “I have NOTHING to do with the fuckin’ thing. If they claim its from the mind of Clive Barker,it’s a lie. It’s not even from my butt-hole.” - Clive Barker reviews Revelations via Twitter
The plot is dumb. I won’t spoil anything else, just that it’s dumb and dumber. Some of the scenes are from a POV of a handheld camera which seems to be all the rage in horrors these days. There’s nothing scarier than a dark, shaky, blurry scene with some yelling in the background.
After the movie was finally over I visited IMDB.com to find out why does this desecration of all that is unholy even exist. Basically, they needed to put out a Hellraiser movie before the end of this year so that they don’t lose the rights to the franchise. Which explains a lot quality wise. This movie is just another case of greedy people cashing in more money on the classics. I’m glad I didn’t buy this.
And the fun doesn’t end there - the reason that the future of the remake is still uncertain is because the makers want to make it TEEN FRIENDLY so they’re looking for a suitable script (the one Clive Barker approved was scrapped, apparently). What the hell, Weinsteins? A PG-13 Hellraiser? Will Pinhead sparkle in the sunlight? This has catastrophe written all over it.
Having read that, I am not surprised that Clive Barker and Doug Bradley don’t want to be involved with Hellraiser movies anymore. Because
WHAT THE HELL, WEINSTEINS?????
Quake changed more than just game hardware. Its code was so well written that it’s still used in games today. Bits of the original Quake code run under the hood in the Call of Duty games, including the upcoming Modern Warfare 3. Valve’s engineers were familiar with the Quake engine when they were creating the Source engine that powers everything from Half-Life 2 to the upcoming Dota 2. “We licensed Quake to Valve when they were starting their company and they built Source using Quake, and Quake code is still in Source even today. Inside of some DLLs, there’s still some Quake code running in there,” says Romero.
In fact, Quake was so well-written that aspects of it haven’t required changing in fifteen years. Says Jay Stelly of Valve, “We had access to Quake & Quake II when building Source and we definitely made use of that. Some of the Quake code does its job just fine even today.”
Things you should(n’t) post on Facebook
Sometimes I wish I could print articles like these and nail them to some people’s foreheads. I know they wouldn’t be able to read them like that. It would be purely for fun and/or anger management.
You’re just an 8-Bit memory,
You always get the best of me
